7.28.2010

hitting refresh

Today as I walked into town a boy approached on his bike. I could tell from his direction and demeanor that he was coming my way with something to say and began to brace myself for the requests "one country coin...baksheesh...do you want to fuck?" none of which are unusual questions (in fairness, the latter isn't *quite* as common as the former). The fact that they aren't unusual doesn't make them any more welcome and I was dreading whatever was to come until he drew up beside me, said "Hello Aunty" and carried on his way. I melted with gratitude, it made my day.

Yesterday I was to pick up something from the pharmacists. After days of promises, they guaranteed that it would be there by 12. I gave them until late afternoon and stopped by on my way home from the city weighed down with bags, hot and sweaty and needing the washroom that very second. Although I've been there for three days running for the same reason, talking to the same people, they had no idea what I was talking about. None. They made big fanfare about how I should stop by in an hour, guaranteed all would be ready, but I live nowhere near them and wasn't coming back into town. So frustrating. I turned and started stomping down the steps thoroughly irritated when two things happened: the paper bag I was carrying started to tear and I heard someone calling my name. Raju, the most wonderful man in the world, was driving by in his rickshaw when he saw me and stopped to offer me a lift. Perfect timing.

This is why I love India. It hits my 'reset' button and reminds me that at the same moment that something goes wrong, something also goes right. I know it also happens at home but maybe it gets lost in the rush, or the familiar, or the safe routines that put me on autopilot. Things seem to be sped up here, no lag time between cause and effect or irritant and awesomeness.

In India with the unfamiliar and the extremes plus the added bonus of time to actually pay attention, it's easy to experience the benevolence surrounding me and notice the way that every single little thing works out, even when it doesn't look like it's going to. I'm a bit ashamed at just how much this isn't the worldview I carry at home and I'm unspeakably grateful for the chance to step back and refresh. I quite literally feel like the luckiest person in the world.

4 comments:

jody said...

you are stunning!!
you are an inspiration and i am in awe of you :o).
miss u love u!!!!! come home for f&cks sake.

chin to my shin said...

you can't make me cry on my own blog for craps sake ;). speaking of inspirations, i've been thinking about you. it makes me ache to think of leaving but i'm flying home next week ladybird. we'll need to play to take the sting out re-entry.

Ruth said...

NEXT WEEK!?!?!?! HONESTLY???? I saw you at the studio today...but it was a mirage. I scrambled to put my mat next to 'you' nonetheless, and even after I realized it was someone else...I pretended that it was you :-) I love this blog entry. So, so true. You know the story of my son's near drowning? I use that as my constant refresh. Whenever anything goes wrong in my life, I remind myself that I was blessed with the most awesome, miraculous, fortuitous 'refresh' of my life. And it's changed my life, so I hear ya! XOXOXOX

jody said...

yay!can't wait to see you... i LOVE both of you!!!!!!!!!!