family & faith

My Aunt was in an accident a few weeks ago, hit by a bus. I don't think being struck by mountains of metal is optimal at the best of times but when you're in your 60's and when your mountain of metal is limited to a bicycle the odds seem particularly stacked against your favour. I dropped by the hospital to visit and when I rounded the corner my first sight was of my Grandmother, sitting. There's something about that visual of my 86 year old Grandmother sitting quietly, eyes still, hands clasped on her lap holding vigil that both breaks my heart and makes me love her with a fierceness that I didn't know I had.

I think of the things she has seen, the lives she has lived through, and the many, many people she has lost and I love her dearly for her strength and resiliency. If I think about it, I feel the same heartbreak and fierceness for all of us. We're so ridiculous, us humans. Fleshy and defenceless, saddled by illogical emotions and totally incapable of taking care of ourselves outside of the structures we've put in place to help us do so - but here we are.

I know my Grandmother was praying when I rounded that corner and I know that she would hold the same vigil for any one of us. Family and faith, sometimes I'm afraid I haven't created enough space for either one in this life I've built.